Heroes

Nice to be wrong sometimes. I didn't want to watch this show. Hearing the premise of a bunch of normal people gaining super powers and using them to fight evil seemed like exactly my type of show, but for some reason I assumed it wouldn't be any good, and I'd just be disappointed. So I skipped the pilot. But my far wiser and prettier half wanted to watch it, so I got dragged along to watch episode 2. Still skeptical, I found several things to not like about it. First, there was some grotesque and seemingly-unnecessarily graphic corpses going on in that episode. I'm talking someone frozen and missing half a skull, and another nailed horizontally to a wall for no apparent reason. Then there's the dialogue- - decent, but not spectacular. Not trite and cliched, but not witty and irreverant, like other hero-based shows I've known and loved. Then, some of the powers were just weird. The chick that looked into the mirror, then woke up later and everyone was murdered, horribly, with the implication that she had done it. The guy that painted the future, but only when under the influence of heroine. What type of message is that? And the plot seemed a bit scattershot, other than preventing a massive explosion some time in the future. Overall, it was okay. But not good enough for me to commit to another series.

Or so I thought. I watched the next episode. It was a little funnier. A few things started clicking into place. Characters started connecting. The next episode was better. Sure enough, the show hooked me. And every episode so far has been better than the previous one, which is a damn impressive feat.

So what's to like? First, Hiro. The loveably language-challenged, good-natured Japanese kid with the ability to stop time. He is instantly likeable, and provides a lot of the humor, along with his coworker, translator, and friend, Ando. Hiro's the perfect normal-guy-discovers-power character for the viewers to identify with. He's so normal. He looks nothing like an action star. Even though we see a glimpse of his sword-wielding badass future, we know his affable, nice-guy-living-in-obscurity roots. He has a power, and he wants to use it to help people. He doesn't always succeed, but you can't help but root for him. There's a little bit of Hiro in all of us.

Next, you wonder who the villains are. Claire's father is clearly a villain, and there's a solid air of sinister beneath his everyman image. He's got an agenda, you bet your ass. And it can't be too pretty. Yet he comes off sympathetic, if only for his obvious concern for Claire. He's still a father (albeit adoptive), and his protective instinct is pretty severe. Of course, he could be protecting her for other reasons, say...he needs her for his ultimate plan. Or, could be a little of both. Still, Mr. Bennett is a great villain - - understated, yet quietly menacing.

Also, as each hero's power is explored, you start to see there is a character-relevant metaphor for each, which I really hoped was the case. For example, Peter has always been in his brother's shadow, never really did anything that remarkable on his own. So he's got issues as to whether he is able to accomplish something, whether he will amount to anything. He wants to be a hero, but he struggles to figure out what he can do. Ultimately he discovers that his power is that he can absorb and use the powers of others when near them. This means, as he admitted a couple episodes ago, he is pretty much powerless on his own. So the question will be whether he can overcome that, and help people without the benefit of borrowed supernatural powers.

By contrast, we have his brother Nathan - the politician, the golden boy, with unlimited potential. His superpower? He can fly. Certainly appropriate. However, he denies his power, tries to act like it doesn't exist, and tries to curb his brother's heroic impulses. And he's mired in controversy and corruption - tied to a mob family, paying for support in the election. Cheating on his crippled wife. Also appears to be cold and heartless a good portion of the time. Now, this leads some to suspect maybe Nathan will turn out to be a villain, or conclude he's just a bad person. I don't think so. I think it shows he's got a lot of personal issues to overcome before he can accept his destiny as a hero. As someone with considerable power in the real world, he also has the power to help people. Right now, he's mired in selfish, shortsighted crap. He doesn't see his potential for greatness. But when he does, when he accepts his gift? Sky's the limit.

That pretty much sums up the show. Heroes has endless potential. I know some friends who are skeptical as to how long the show can last, because once they deal with Mr. Bennett and Sylar and this future explosion, then what? What's left to deal with?

Believe me, that's just the start. If the writers are worth their salt (and by the way the story seems to be coming together, I'd say they certainly are) then they've got things lined up for years to come. When one villain is taken down, another rises, with a different and even more sinister plan for the future. (Realistically, Sylar is probably small time. Sure, he can do some scary shit, but he's just accumulating powers. Worry about the Mr. Bennett types with bigger plans.) What happens when some of these "heroes" decide to use their powers for evil? What happens when one of our main characters goes through something so painful that it changes them, and they become the enemy? What happens when the public finds out? Sure, X-Men has explored that implication many times over - fear, paranoia, hatred, and conflict - but it's definitely something that should be addressed here.

It sounds like we're just about to find out some of the bigger questions about the powers themselves - how they happened, why they happened, what they mean, etc. To me, this is (or should be) the broader point of the show - - not dispatching the particular villain of the week, or stopping the impending disaster. There will always be more villains and more disasters down the road. A good show uses these villains and disasters as signposts along the roadway toward what the writers want to say, the broader message. From what I can tell, that message is that each and every one of us can be heroes, that each of us has the power to help people and make a difference. This show should be able to last several strong years just showing the growth and development of these characters as they go from insignificant to heroic. And despite my earlier reservations, I believe this show just might get there.

This marks the end of my comprehensive television review. Thanks for reading.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled posting about random, outlandish crap.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

This is the first of two show reviews I'm doing without the benefit of having seen a full season, and being able to look back at the beginning after knowing what it was building to. But, steady onward. By all accounts, this should be a great show for me. First, its written by Aaron Sorkin, the creator of the West Wing, which I enjoyed immensely. This ensures that same fast-paced, witty repartee from characters too smart and too clever to actually exist. Second, it's got an excellent cast of actors I enjoy - Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peel, Timothy Busfield, DL Hughley, plus a revolving cast of big name guest stars (Ed Asner, John Goodman, your mom). Third, it's about sketch comedy, and given my predilection for Saturday Night Live, this should be right up my alley. Given all of that....

It's disappointing. Don't get me wrong, it's a good show. Just not as good as it ought to be. It's funny, but not that funny. Its got good characters and interaction, just not that good. And its got good stories, but....sometimes I just can't bring myself to care. This show is at its best when the fictional show is in crisis mode for some reason or another, because then the inherent craziness of the characters and what they do is allowed to breathe. When it tries to tell cute little stories, like the old guy who used to work for the show, or the one actor trying to connect with his conservative Midwestern parents, I lose all interest. When it preaches about Christianity and gay rights, I roll my eyes. Its not that I don't like hearing about social and political issues, it's that I don't like hearing what actors and celebrities have to say about social and political issues. Even when I know those statements are coming from a writer like Sorkin.

Mostly this show suffers by comparison to the West Wing. That's the show it's the most like, and it's simply nowhere near as good. The problem is that all of the fast-walking, behind-the-scenes maneuvering here goes to making a comedy show; in the West Wing, they were crafting national policy and resolving international tensions. Studio 60 has that same sense of excitement and urgency; what it lacks is that sense of importance. Even when it tries to talk about important issues.

Again, that's the problem - this show has too much of the style of West Wing, with little of the substance. Studio 60 needs to be its own show. When it focuses on the mechanics of making a comedy show, it works. Give me conflict within the network. Give me conflict between the writers. Give me people struggling to be funny. (Struggling people are funny.) Give me actors with personal drama. Don't give me the West Wing's oddball cousin.

Certainly, there is plenty of potential here. I still love the actors, and how they play off each other. I absoltely loved Jack, the asshole network guy, going off on the potentially lucrative business partner for apparently insulting Jordan's honor. That tirade showed some depth of character; that while he's a money-hungry, ambitious bastard most of the time, he also cares a great deal about the people who work for them, and he'll go to the mat to defend them.

Also, there are plenty of smaller elements I enjoy. Really, I want to like this show. I hope it succeeds. I hope it improves. The last few episodes have been very good. Again, this might be part of criticizing a first-year show midway through its season -- the show could definitely gel and hit its stride. Here's hoping....

Final installment in the series: Heroes

Lost

I'm glad I passed on this show when it first came out. It saved me two seasons worth of outrage. I've never found a show that I liked so much that pissed me off even more. Most of the time, Lost gives you intriguing, deeply-layered mystery intertwined with solid character drama. The rest of the time, it gives you a "What the fuck?" complex, often leading to food and other objects chucked at the TV screen in an unbridled rage.

The first season is incredibly good. You get a few dozen characters crashed down on an uninhabited (?) island. Each character has an air of mystery to them, and each episode picks a particular character and delves into their backstory, with each flashback giving a little insight into the character. The characters have to work together to survive, not just the obligatory "man vs. nature" conflicts of finding food, water, and shelter, but the "man vs. weird shit that keeps happening" conflicts of fighting polar bears, hallucinations, and smoke monsters. The island itself becomes a character, because something is clearly messed up, and unraveling the many mysteries of the island becomes the driving force of the - -

Wait a minute, did he just say "Smoke Monsters?" What in the frilly hell is a smoke monster?

This is what I'm talking about. The show is flippin' crazy. Sometimes, in a hella good way. Sometimes, it's just plain maddening. A good mystery series presents a bunch of compelling questions the characters go about solving as the show progresses. A really good mystery series solves some questions while presenting new and equally compelling questions to continue the show. Lost falls into the latter category, more or less by default, because it answers questions at a rate of about 3 per season, and raises roughly another 15 scrillion per season.

At some point, you start thinking that maybe the writers have no answers, and their basic strategy is to throw new mysteries in there willy nilly to leave the viewers thinking "Wow, this show is so good, I have no earthly idea what the hell is going on in any part of this show whatsoever." I'm only about half-sure that's not what's happening.

By now, in mid-Season 3, some of the loose ends are starting to mosey on toward one another, providing a vague framework of potential answers. That's the best I can give you.

Also, Locke is an excellent character. The guy is vague and cryptic, philosophical and faith-based, which is fun. At the same time, he's got a dagger collection to rival that of Cliff Thompson. He goes through some changes as the series progresses, not all of them good, but most of them necessary. All in all, probably my favorite character. (Except maybe Mr. Eko and his Jesus stick.)

All in all, Lost is an excellent show. It always keeps you guessing, and when it finally pays off its secrets, they usually play out pretty well. The writers pull the curtain back inch by agonizing inch, but so far what they've revealed is pretty tantalizing. Like a book that you can't possibly set down until you've consumed every word, and would then cap somebody and pry the next chapter out of their cold, dead fingers to feed the fix. This show seriously leave you fiending.

My advice for those of you who haven't seen it yet - wait until it's over, then get the DVD sets. Otherwise you'll have to wait, episode to episode, season to season, cliffhanger to diabolical cliffhanger. Or maybe that's half the fun.

Fuckin' smoke monsters.

Next in the Series: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Battlestar Galactica

The first thing I'll say about Battlestar Galactica is that this ain't yo momma's science fiction. This is not a fleet of noble human beings exploring space, engaging in diplomatic relations with various alien races, and saving benign alien races and their planets from destruction. Galactica presents a desperate fleet of human beings, having just escaped the total annihilation of the human race on their home planets, now searching the galaxy for a new home. All the while they're being pursued by the mechanically sinister Cylons, a race of machines originally created by humans to be servants, who then rose up against the humans and ultimately wiped them out in a nuclear holocaust.

I am not the first television critic to say it, nor will I be the last: Battlestar Galactica is the best show on television.

I could go on and on about the action, the characters, the intricate plotting, but that's not what makes this the best series out there. What makes this show so incredible is its relevance to the current state of the world. The show deftly mixes political, military, and religious intrigue, as the last remnants of humanity struggle to surivive and protect themselves from the Cylons, while holding onto the principles of freedom and democracy.

For instance, after the nuclear attack, the battlestar Galactica, an old military vessel, escapes the conflict with a fleet of civilian ships in tow. The Galactica is led by Commander Adama, a grizzled old war veteran, who does everything he can to keep the fleet safe and alive. Thus he gives the orders, and the civilians are expected to follow. But his authority is challenged by the now-highest up in the order of succession, a woman, the Secretary of Education. She becomes the president, and the first season explores the conflict between them as they clash over the conflicting goals of security and freedom. This leads to problems over other issues like holding elections, freedom of the press, and abortion. Just like America in the 21st century, the surviving human race faces the question of how much liberty they are willing to sacrifice in order to feel safe.

And while the humans battle each other over these issues, in the greater scheme of things, the Cylons often represent terrorists. Though originally hulking and metallic figures, the Cylons figured out how to make human models of themselves, which is how they infiltrated the human race and nearly wiped them out. This leaves the humans fearful and paranoid, because anyone can be a Cylon, plotting their destruction all along. The issue of torture and the rights of POWs also comes front and center when the human fleet captures one of the human-modeled Cylons. Both the military and civilian government struggles with these questions; their enemies are machines, but they look and act human. They claim to believe in God, and to have emotions, the capacity to love. So is it okay to torture one for information? How about rape? Enemies or not, can we allow ourselves to do these things?

The religious element is also important, because as I said, the Cylons believe in one God, the Judeo-Christian God, while the humans believe in a pantheon of gods. The Cylons believe they are fulfilling God's wishes by wiping out humanity - - a violent, murderous, unworthy race. This provides an intriguing twist, as the Cylons talk about being God's children, about love and forgiveness, and God's plan for them. And we know all along that the Cylons have a master plan, besides just killing us. The secrecy of this plan provides another important issue.

At all times, the question driving the show is this: Is humanity worth saving? The Cylons didn't think so, so they tried to eradicate us. But the crew of the Galactica and the civilian fleet prove themselves to be good people, flawed but heroic, and worthy of saving. They do everything possible to hold onto the last glimmer of humanity left in them, and the hope that some day they can live in peace.

Bottom line: The conflicts are epic, and the drama is simply riveting. I highly recommend this show to anyone who appreciates good drama.

**Also, didn't mean to downplay how cool the action is in this show. Let me just say there are giant frickin' space battles occurring at a pretty good frequency.

Next in the series: Lost

Smallville

Despite my clear predilection for watching sci-fi and superhero-based entertainment, the idea of watching Superman's formative years didn't appeal to me initially. Thus I didn't watch Smallville when it first came on; I didn't watch it at all until last year. For one thing, I was never a big fan of Superman. My problem with Superman, as I've mentioned before, is that he's too powerful. He's got super speed, super strength, super hearing, x-ray vision, heat vision, invulnerability to everything (with one notable exception), and oh yeah, he can fly. The problem for me is making a dramatic conflict. Exactly who is this guy going to struggle to defeat? Villains typically fall into two categories -- brutes and geniuses. And what brute is going to beat Superman? Unless, of course, he has kryptonite. Or, if the villian is also an alien, and thus has powers above and beyond that of Superman. On the other hand, you've got evil geniuses, a la Superman's arch nemesis, Lex Luthor. The evil genius can make an excellent foil, and works as a concept overall, but then you've got to make sure his evil scheme isn't completely retarded (he built a frickin' continent? Sinister alert!!) (Sorry A-Mart, had to go there.) Too often the evil scheme is huge and maniacal and, well, completely illogical. So that can be a problem.

Then there's the backdrop of Smallville itself - - Smallville, Kansas. I don't like farms. I don't like barns. I don't like corn fields. I don't like simple, agrarian values-schlock. At least not for the setting of a movie/television show.

Granted, once I started watching the show, this wasn't a big problem. The focus of the show was naturally on Clark's growing pains, adaptation to super powers, being different and keeping secrets, and becoming a hero, in addition to his relationships to his friends. Basically, this was the Buffy-ized version of Superman. It was even on the same network, the WB. It even had Buffy's "Monster-of-the-Week" style conflict. In Buffy, there was a different demon and/or high school student affected by supernatural phenomena to fight; in Smallville, there was a different being and/or high school student affected by kryptonite to deal with. As with Buffy, Smallville used its kryptonite-laced phenomena as a metaphor to represent problems that actual high school students have to face. And just like Buffy, sometimes this worked well, other times it was just silly, like devolving into a Clark vs. Bugman type conflict. Ack.

But overall, it seems like my type of show, right? Well, yeah. But it really suffers by comparison. For one thing, the writing isn't nearly as good. It had that same type of character and relationship soap drama of Buffy, but it lacked the caustic wit that often permeated the blatantly silly moments of Buffy, showing the writers knew it was silly, the characters knew it was silly, and they were going to have some fun with it. By contrast, Smallville had far too many soap moments where a character approaches Clark with the same-old "I've got a feeling you're hiding something from me" drama. Ooh, is important character number 3 going to discover Clark's secret? No, you dolt. Random expendable character number 8 might, but the importent characters are sadly left in the dark for far too long. Sure, they've each found out several times in various episodes, and each time have been struck with a ridiculously convenient (for the writers, that is) case of amnesia. Gosh, I just learned all of this earth-shattering information about my best friend, but, Oops!! There it goes again. He's just a normal farm boy, who happens to rescue everyone at the last moment, every single time that goes wrong. Huh.

So if I rag on the show so much, why do I watch it, and why do I have the first 5 seasons on DVD? Other than my TV-on-DVD compulsion, it's still a good show. Sure, the writing isn't always (or often) that sharp. Sure the conflicts can be silly. Sure the overall plot unfolds painfully slowly at times. (1/3 of the way through Season 6, and Lana still doesn't know a damn thing. When the hell are they going to pay this moment off? ) Sure, Tom Welling looks like he's getting anally penetrated on that ridiculous WB billboard on Fish Hatchery Road. Still...it's not a bad show.

For starters, it does have that "hero developing his powers and using them for good" element that I always enjoy seeing. Then it has Lex Luthor. Now, those of you who know the Superman story through comics or movies know they battle as adults, and you know that Lex is a Metropolis sophisticate, while Clark came from Hicksville. This show transports Lex into Hicksville, and they first become best friends. Now, that's a hell of a cool twist, I think, mostly because the writers made it relatively plausible. As interesting a character as Clark can be, I think exploring the development of Lex from spoiled rich kid into evil super genius is far more compelling. I love the warped-mentor/rival relationship between Lex and his cruel and brilliant father, Lionel. That's a good story.

The Clark/Lex friendship is also pretty interesting, though it suffers from the same "I know you're hiding something from me" revolving plotline as every other friendship Clark has in this show. Still, watching them go from mutual admiration and fraternity into distrust and hatred has been good television. Particularly because Michael Rosenbaum plays a damn good Lex.

Also, the show has gotten considerably stronger over the years. The addition of Lois has invigorated the show (to an extent, as she's been terribly underused so far), and this will only increase as her role in Clark's life expands. I suppose this show has been necessarily limited by the well-established canon of Superman mythology, so the over-arching plotlines have been constrained to the point of setting up what will happen later. Clark and Lex can't exactly have a fight to the death in this show, because, well, you get the idea.

Over the years, the conflicts have gotten bigger and better. Clark and Lana have fallen out, Clark and Lex are now on the verge of being enemies. Clark and Lois are each becoming involved in the world of journalism. Clark is facing off with alien forces from his father's past. And he's starting to become pulled towards being a hero on the grander scale. The stories no longer involve kryptonite-freaks from high school doing weird shit. The dialogue has gotten noticeably sharper. So....

Overall, it's not perfect. Far, far from it. But it's right up my alley, and has only gotten better over time. Like Clark, you know this show could soar at any moment. If only it could get its fat ass off the ground for good.....

Next in the series: Battlestar Galactica

Veronica Mars

I was never a Nancy Drew fan. I prefer conflict over mystery as the driving function of a story. I like conflict on a universal, apocolyptic scale, and super powers, and, well, kung fu fighting. So how do I get roped into a story about a teenaged girl who solves mysteries? Well, at least partially because it's got a definite Buffy feel to it - - skinny, smart-mouthed blonde chick taking on the world, along with her outcast friends. It's got the same snarky, witty sense of humor, especially the titular character. (Witness one exchange from season 1 - Veronica in parking lot, attempting to change a flat tire. Potential boyfriend walks up and simply asks "Flat?" Without missing a beat, her reply: "Just the way God made me.") And it's very tightly woven, with Veronica solving one mystery each week, and putting together more and more clues toward solving a larger, season-long mystery. For example, season 1 finds her trying to solve who killed her best friend, season 2 investigating a major bus crash that killed several school kids, and season 3 investigating campus-wide serial rape problem at her university.

I'm not going to go too in-depth about this show, because as much as I enjoy it, it's not my favorite. Of course, this is probably because it's really not my type of show. Mostly, it's got good characters, smart writing, well-plotted stories, and snappy humor. And that's all I have to say about that.

Next in the series: Smallville

Three Cheers For Voter Fraud

Listen, pollsters, don't think for a second you're going to prevent me from exercising my rights as a cold-blooded American citizen to vote the losing side of a bunch of every referendum. I've got a driver's license, I've got a social security card, I've got an A8 China card. Not enough? Fine. You want proof of residence? No, I don't have any junk mail on me, but I do have this lovely machete with the blood of a transient who used to frequent my building. No good? Hmm.... you want a friend from my block who can verify their own residence to vouch for me? Unlikely, seeing as how my block is packed to the brim with fuckin' dirty-ass hippies, almost-homeless people, and assholes who scratch asinine shit on my elevator doors. And no way am I standing in a line for 30 minutes to find out I need to go grab a piece of mail, come back and stand in line for another 30 minutes, just to cast the decidedly unimportant vote. So thanks, random scruffy hippie number 1, for vouching for me and signing my sheet. You're a true American hero. Now take a shower and get a real job.

Anybody know if the referendum on requiring city officials to conduct a study before they put some sort of wiring in some place or another? I had money riding on that bitch.

That Entire Movie Just Happened

We interrupt this ongoing presentation of my favorite television shows past and present to bring you movie review the sixth:

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakstan

I'm sitting here with a blank page, trying to think of the words to adequately describe this movie. The phrase "Funniest movie ever made" is kicking around my head right now, but I can't quite commit it to print. True, I've seen several surprisingly hysterical movies this year (Thank You For Smoking, Talladega Nights, Beerfest), and Borat simply blew them all out of the water. I think back to other classic comedies (Office Space, Super Troopers, Dodgeball, Blues Brothers, Spaceballs, etc), and I'm quite sure I laughed harder and more often at this movie than possibly any other movie in history.

The problem is, I don't know that I can really compare it with other comedies. For one thing, and I didn't learn this until afterward, but apparently the vast majority of the movie was unscripted. Which means, when Borat makes his journey around the country and encounters random people, the atrociously prejudiced and intolerant things these people said were unscripted. As in, the people said these horrible things of their own volition, and the sentiments were rooted in their own beliefs. This is what separates Borat from probably its closest counterpart, Thank You For Smoking, in my opinion. Smoking was another mockumentary of sorts which presented terrible people saying uproariously terrible things, and presented a similarly brutal satire on its chosen subject. But those lines were scripted; Borat's lines were real. I'm still absolutely flabbergasted by this.

I mean, I once had an English paper to write about social class differences, where we were supposed to go somewhere with a different class and observe the people. I didn't feel like doing this, so I made up my entire "experience," complete with absolutely perfect quotations from people that clearly identified them as being of a lower social class. Afterwards, my professor expressed astonishment at the fact that those were real quotations, and how perfectly they fit the points I was trying to make. Yeah, that's 'cause they weren't. So when the prejudices expressed in Borat were so perfectly offensive and horrendous, I can't help but have the same feeling - - just too good to be true.

But accepting that for a moment, what else can I say about this film? How about the fact that it single-handledly created its own genre of film: the horror-comedy. I'm not talking satirical horror like Scream, horrible comedy like Freddy Got Fingered, or so-horrible-it's-funny like Judge Dredd. No, I mean the type of comedy that's so offensive, you have to cover your mouth in horror every time you laugh. You've witnessed moments like this in other mediums; the most appropriate comparison is South Park, both the tv episodes and the movie. Those moments where they say something so patently outrageous, so shockingly hysterical, that you have to cover your mouth and look at the person next to you to make sure you just heard that correctly. Well, damn near every joke in Borat is that type of joke, and they sure kept the jokes coming. No wonder Trey Parker and Matt Stone said it might be the funniest movie ever made -this is right up their alley. Mine as well, of course. That's the type of comedy I was going for with the MZRM sketch at Law Revue last year. God and censorship willing, that's the type we ought to bring back this year.

There were so many uproarious moments in this movie, I couldn't possibly recount them all. Now, I don't want to spoil anything for someone yet to see the movie, but I feel confidant that just reciting these points won't give anything away, because they truly must be seen to be believed. Here's my short list of greatest hits - - The Running of the Jew. The bear and the kids. Shopping for the Hummer. The bag of shit. "The blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq...." Sacking Pamela. The successful use of the "not" joke at the end. Bob Barr and the cheese. The best defense against Jews. Retard. There are just too many to possibly count.

Lest we not forget the full-frontal male nudity. If all of the other jokes didn't make you squirm, the uncomfortability factor shoots through the roof right about now. Especially when it spills out into public. Although averting the eyes is absolutely necessary, I laughed my ass off during this entire scene.

And mad props to Sasha Baron Cohen for having possibly the biggest comic cajones in recorded history. I thought Colbert had brass ones for standing in front of the President at the Correspondent's Dinner and subtly ripping him a new one; that's brave in its own right, 'cause I was worried he might get a bag thrown over his head and get carted off to Guantanamo, never to be heard from again. But the places Cohen went - the ghetto, the rodeo, the Pamela incident -- how he didn't wind up in jail or dead is beyond me. Absolutely fearless.

Funniest movie ever made? If not, certainly a contender.

My score: A+
Recommendation: GO SEE THIS MOVIE IMMEDIATELY.

Alias

I tend to feel that the entire reason for the creation of Alias was to put Jennifer Garner in as many skimpy outfits as possible, then make her blow shit up to sate the writers' hot chicks and explosives fantasies. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Still, at its best, Alias was an adrenaline rush of espionage, double-crossing, ass-kicking, hot chicks, and well-crafted family drama.

This is another one I caught on late; the only season I watched live was its last, Season 5, which ended in May. After the end of Buffy and Angel, and between waiting for the next set of West Wing DVDs to come out, I wanted more tv in my life. So I gave Alias a shot. The first season hooked me immediately; it was like one massive spy movie stretched over a full season. Unlike most shows, single episodes didn't present one conflict and resolve it at the end, then present a new conflict the next episode; this created a new conflict halfway through each episode, and left it at a cliffhanger point between the next one. A dirty trick, to be sure, but effective at compelling me to watch the next, and the next, and the next.

The series sagged a bit in Season 3, season 4 was hit or miss (and changed the format to the traditional episodic mode, for better or worse), and season 5 started poorly, then went on hiatus for months, then got shortened, then came back with a vengeance and went out with a bang. But the first two seasons were incredibly good. The basic premise was Sydney was recruited by the CIA as part of a black ops team thwarting international terrorists. Then, after she told her fiancee about her job, he ended up killed. Turns out she was working for a terrorist organization posing as the CIA, and her father was one of her supervisors. Then she became a double-agent for the real CIA, and found out her father was also a double agent. (Plausible, no?) This provided plenty of high-octane action and suspense, and Jennifer Garner was a great lead, but what kept me hooked was the family conflicts and endless secrets. Garner's Sydney Bristow was a bad-ass spy, but her father, Jack (played by Victor Garber), was my favorite character - - an absolutely ruthless, secretive bastard who would do anything to protect his daughter.

Then there's Sloane, Sydney's old boss who pretends to be a CIA figure, and manipulates everyone who works for him into thinking they're protecting the country, when really they're the ones facilitating the terrorist cells. (this is pre-9/11, so most of them are not Arabic - good old Ruskies, Chinamen, and the like.) Sydney has to pretend to work for him. And oh yeah, he had her fiancee killed. Still, he's a sympathetic character, which makes the conflict all the more compelling. Then there's Sydney's mother...let's not even go there.

Yeah, at times the show became ridiculous. It ventured into sci-fi, which I didn't mind, except that it had every single terrorist plot on earth tied to some 500 year old prophet. That got annoying. But if you looked past that, and took quite a bit on faith (like the fact that they seemed able to criss-cross the globe in 30 minute plane rides to get to places in the nick of time), it's good clean fun.

- This is the last of the shows no longer on the air, everything after this will be current -

Next in the series: Veronica Mars

Firefly

Let me put this out there: I didn't watch Firefly during its limited run on the air, and I'm absolutely glad I didn't. If I had, I would have had the unfortunate experience of watching another intelligent, exciting, thought-provoking, and endlessly entertaining television series mistreated and cancelled by FOX. When it first aired, FOX didn't know how to plug this show - was it a western? Another sci-fi space show? Comedy? Action? Character drama? In reality, Firefly was all of the above and more. The two-hour pilot episode is a sprawling mini-movie which introduces the characters and all of the major conflicts that will arise in the series. FOX decided it didn't have enough action, and decided to skip this and air the second episode first. (Which, by the way, wtf?? The pilot was easily more exciting) Then, after like 9 episodes aired, FOX finally decided to air the pilot. They didn't promote the show very well, ratings were low, and FOX cancelled it after episode 11. Tough luck.

Remarkably, this wasn't the end of the show. The shows producers created DVD set of the full series, with the episodes in order, plus three unaired episodes. DVD sales took off. Suddenly people who had never heard of it while on air were purchasing the show and discovering what they had missed, myself included. The cult popularity of this show flourished so much that a full-length feature film was made called Serenity, one of my all time favorites.

When I first heard about it, I chose not to watch it. Sure, it was penned by Joss Whedon, who created two of my other favorite shows. But I already had a full slate of shows I watched. More importantly, the show was set in space. In general, I've never been a big fan of space in tv or movies. I never even watched the Star Wars series in full until Spring Break of my 1L year. So why my space aversion? I guess what I like most in sci-fi is extraordinary occurrances arising from ordinary times. I prefer stories set in the modern day, like Buffy/Angel, Heroes, or the Matrix, because when the supernatural starts happening, it's completely unexpected and exciting. (Sure, the Matrix was actually set in the future, but the parts inside the Matrix were not, and that was what I enjoyed the most.) This is why I generally prefer superhero stories like Spiderman or Batman to fantasy stories like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, because in fantasy series, having special powers or seeing monstrous creatures is pretty much the rule rather than the exception. Space is kind of the same thing, because usually our technology is so advanced, and alien creatures run rampant. I really don't like aliens. (Dirty alients trying to take my jab...) Space is a whole different world, with an entirely different set of rules. Basically, I prefer this world and its rules, and watching people break those rules.

Firefly was different. For one thing, no aliens. Sure there were messed up canniballistic creatures called Reavers who massacred and ate people, but even they used to be men. All of the villains and quasi-villains of the piece were human in some form. All the evil in this universe comes from human nature and our own dark impulses. I find that far more compelling than some evil alien race. Because then things are no longer so black and white, and there are real issues to explore. Plus, despite being set in space, Firefly's future was neither the hyper-advanced future of Star Trek, nor the post-apocolyptic hellhole of the Matrix's real world (or, say, Waterworld.) Here, some of the planets are clean and advanced, while others are backward and barren. Hence the juxtaposition of space and Western -the premise is that the controlling government has civilized the core planets, but things on the rim are still a lot like the frontier. Lasers exist, but only the rich can afford them. I found this a more appealing setting for a space drama.

More importantly, the show was pretty awesome. You've got a group of rogues and criminals on a transport ship moving from planet to planet, pulling any job (legal or illegal) to keep themselves afloat, while avoiding the authoritarian Alliance government whenever possible. Whedon blessed this show with his signature wit and multifaceted, compelling characters. Plus, the show explores a major theme: Freedom. Mal and his crew live on a space ship, always on the run, trying to escape the ever-extending arms of the Alliance and its attempts to "civilize" the whole universe, i.e. make them live under its rules. Ultimately, the Alliance is not evil. They are basically a force of good, trying to make things better. But they attempt to accomplish this by taking away freedom and choice. This especially comes out in the movie, where we find out the horrible truth about Alliance meddling and its attempts to make people better.

Unfortunately, since the show was cancelled and the movie had a disappointing box office turnout, we may never see another resurrection of the franchise. Comic books are already in the works, but the prospect of seeing the show on screen may never happen again. That is really a tragedy, because while the movie provided some degree of closure, there were so many stories left to tell. The awful secret the Alliance was keeping was finally exposed, but the Alliance is still there, still in power, and now on the defensive. Another threat, the mysterious Blue Sun corporation, was never developed, except for some subtle hints. And Reavers are still out there, and are a danger to everyone. I would like nothing better than to watch this show for several more seasons and finally see Mal and co. lead a popular uprising against the Alliance, but sadly, that is not going to happen.

Oh well. It's a hell of a ride while it lasts.

Next in the series: Alias