Frauds

Incompetence doesn't just hurt you, it hurts those around you. Remember that when you get your degree, find a career, and call yourself a professional. Remember it when you've got a big office, a big salary, and a big ego. Or if you don't. Know matter where you end up, try not to be an incompetent, arrogant moron, because you'll just be making good people suffer.

For instance, the incompetence of the person who prepared my parents' taxes almost led them to commit tax fraud, and almost forced me into a position to have to commit tax fraud just to fill my taxes out correctly. You see, I was all up on getting my homestead credit and a cool $800 extra this year, until my dad told me he and mom were claiming me as a dependent. I was like "Nigga what?" Apparently since they paid the final portion of my tuition last year, their tax person told them they could claim me as a dependent and get a credit back on that money and more. All of which would disqualify me for receiving the homestead exemption.

It didn't sound right to me, but my tax grade was laughable, so I didn't question the wisdom of their tax lady. However, a hot tip from Kristin the Queen of Taxery said that bitch was trippin', and there was no way my parents could claim me as a dependent. So we hit up the Tax Code, and she was right - out of four conditions to be a "qualifying child," I missed on two. I called my dad, told him the tax lady was wrong, and she had better check herself before my parents get indicted for tax fraud.

Dad called her, she told him that as long as I was a full-time student, I could be claimed as a dependent. Hmm. Well, that's not what the statute says, but she's a professional, right? She's done this plenty of times before, right? She must know what she's doing. Maybe she knows an exception to the rule that we, lowly law students with our "statutes" don't know about.

So I got her number, and I called her. Naturally, she was a bit cranky, so I played as polite as I could. I explained my concerns, and pointed out the statute I was looking at. Turns out she was going off the same statute. Okay...so I read her the conditions I didn't meet. First, I didn't live in my parents' residence for at least half the year. She said as long as I'm a full time student, that doesn't matter. Okay...doesn't really say that anywhere, but oh well. Next, I must not have turned 24 by the end of the calendar year. I explained that I turned 24 in October. If I'm not mistaken, October is part of the calendar year. She never really gave me much explanation for that, just confirmed the fact that I was wrong. On the other hand, Kristin, who had heard the conversation, confirmed that this woman was full of shit. So there I was.

I told my dad, he said he'd probably just go with what they filed, and trust that she knew what she was doing. Which, according to the statute, is encouraging people to commit tax fraud. But then, I wanted my $800. Now, if my parents put that I was a dependent, on for my homestead thing, I checked that no one claimed me as a dependent, I would also be committing tax fraud because I knew otherwise. Even if I was the only one actually following the goddamn laws.

Luckily, my dad contacted a CPA friend, who told him that the tax lady was 100% wrong. So they have to amend, and I can do my thang.

Moral of the story: This is what happens when you "know what you're doing," and don't listen to reason.

And in case you were wondering, as applied to the tax lady, the Hand Formula for this would be "suck my balls, you incompetent biznatch."