Friday, August 17, 2007
For the Record
If you notice a fairly large bruise under my chin, the giant bandage on my knee, and the band-aids on my palm and finger, to be clear, these injuries were all sustained in a recent ninja attack. I did not receive them while rollerblading way too fast down a hill, spinning around and smashing my jaw into the concrete in an astonishing display of rollerblading ineptitude. Any reports you here to the contrary are lies, all lies.
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4 comments:
What's the worst part about buying rollerblades? Having to tell your dad you're gay.
--courtesy of KCS
I'm not sure why a ninja would attack you...unless you were a pirate...or looked at him.
Goddamnit, Mr. Utah, you can't look at a ninja--they're invisible! The only way you could see a ninja is if he lets you, but ninjas only show themselves before unleashing a vicious--and always fatal--attack. Don't you know anything. Gosh!
Apparently KCS hasn't heard of extreme rollerblading, where you take a hill at about 850 mph, intentionally wipe out in a horrendous yet badass collision with a large stretch of concrete, and then walk (or roll) away, dripping blood from various wounds.
Not that that was what happened, of course, because like I said, it was a ninja attack.
And to be fair to my ninja opponents on that night, I don't think they realized I was a ninja. I think they thought I was just black.
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