An open letter to the person who thought I hit their car, then left a profanity-filled note talking about how I was going to pay for it, which included no contact information or insurance information, and left before I got back:
Prove it.
I didn't hit your car. I had to park close to it because a snowbank had encroached on my spot. My door may have rested against your car when I opened it, but it did not scratch it. In fact, no part of my car scratched your car. You know how I can tell? Because there are no marks on my car whatsoever. If I had scratched up your car, as you claim, there would be some sort of mark on my vehicle. There's not. I've got the pictures to prove it.
You, on the other hand, have nothing. So come and get me, motherfucker.
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5 comments:
Calm down. Let your calves do the talking and/or slaying.
Hold on. Let's analyze these facts carefully. This person thinks that some part of your car hit some part of her car hard enough to hurt her car but leave no mark at all on your car. There are only two reasonable conclusions. The first is, as you point out, that the person is completely full of shit. The second, however, is more intriguing. The second possibility is that your car is actually KITT from Knight Rider and, thanks to its molecular-bonded shell, is completely indestructible. All I can think of is that now I understand why your car always talks down to me when I'm in it.
This molecular-bonded shell idea may have some merit to it. I don't even remember seeing much damage to the exterior that time I put my car into a ditch and nearly smashed into the culvert. Or, you know, any of the other times something ridiculous has happened.
You may not have hit that persons car, but I'm pretty sure you drove into my driver's side door. I'll send you a bill. Don't worry though, it's a 95 Subaru, so it'll only be for like $3.75.
You know, I might have. I hit so many cars without realizing it. I'm kinda low on cash though - can I send you a candy bar and call it even? I could even make it a king size.
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