Huffing and Puffing

Elections are coming up soon, and with them the opportunity to vote for the next Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice. The major candidates are Annette Ziegler, former judge and prosecutor, and Linda Clifford, current werewolf.

Hold on, werewolf? Apparently, if you have seen the latest round of political ads on tv. Clifford's ad depicts Ziegler as having a severe conflicts of interest issue, having decided a slew of cases where she had a financial stake, and almost all of them decided in her own favor. Ziegler's response ad states that these allegations are completely false, and that Clifford is actually a lycanthrope who howls at the moon. Seriously, anytime the ad shows Clifford, the screen darkens, and a haggard looking Clifford appears standing in front of the moon. At the end we are treated to a howling noise, which is obviously meant to imply that Clifford is a werewolf.

This raises many questions. Do we want werewolves on the supreme court? Personally, I think we do. I think Clifford's ability to shapeshift shows that she is not some entrenched partisan unable to change her views to comport with the facts of the case. Although some may see a judge turning into a wolf and attacking attorneys or fellow justices as radical judicial activism, I think that type of fresh blood should be welcomed on an aging court. Plus, for those of us concerned with diversity, adding a member of a growing minority group would demonstrate that Wisconsinites respect our werewolf brethren, and would prefer that they not rise up and eat us all.

Remember, come election day, a vote for Clifford is a vote for justice and progress. And by "justice and progress," I mean "a bloodthirsty werewolf."