Tribute to Villainy

As I've said many times before, I love an epic story of good and evil. Central to any great good and evil story is a good villain; since the villain's evil scheme generally drives the story, the better the villain/scheme, the better the story. I've commented on my love of good villains here, but today I want to go beyond that and pay tribute to some of my favorite villains.

Now, I'm not saying this list constitutes the greatest villains of all time - far from it. If that's what you want, check out AFI's top 100 heroes and villains list. This isn't even a comprehensive list of my favorites, since I'm sure I've forgotten some. But as far as I'm concerned, these baddies made for good story, and deserve the recognition.

So, in no particular order, I present my Tribute to Villainy:

1. Darth Vader

Anyone looking for the epitome of a villain need look no further than Vader. 1/2 man, 1/2 machine, all badass. Ruthless, menacing, calculating, the Fightin' Vader simply oozed darkness and destruction every time he was on screen. Come on, the guy managed to make audible wheezing frightening. Plus, James Earl lent his formidable voice talents. Classic.

2. Hans Gruber

Alan Rickman's Gruber, the brilliant sleazebag Eurotrash terrorist, providing the perfect counterpart to Bruce Willis' badass American cowboy cop in "Die Hard." Ultimately, he took an unfortunate fall from a bazillion story window, but for a brief shining moment, Hans had shit on lockdown.

3. Dr. Evil

Think about it, the guy's got "evil" in his name. What more proof do you need? Evil laugh? Check. Evil underground hideout? Check. Evil kitty? Check. Evil air quotation marks on needlessly quoted words? Check. Sure, he wanted to take over the world, but really, all he wanted was some frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads. Is that so much to ask?

4. Keyser Soze

Though we never really see the infamous Keyser on screen in "The Usual Suspects," his influence pervades and drives the movie. His name inspires terror in the criminal underworld and law enforcement alike. And his brilliance only becomes clear at the end of the movie. He leaves you with the classic line: "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making convincing the world that he didn't exist."

5. Jaws

Da-duh. Da-duh. Da-duh. CHOMP! Jaws made swimming in the ocean and getting mauled by a shark cool again. Also, little known fact, Jaws was the first choice to host the talk show later hosted by Rosie O'Donnell. Each interview would have ended in Jaws baring his monstrous teeth and eating the guest. In a way, not that much different, I suppose. Still, badass, for a fish.

6. Voldemort

I've already given mad props to Lord Voldemort here. When you've got a whole society of people afraid to speak your name, that's villainy on a whole different level. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" ought to be a hell of a conclusion to the series, and Voldy should be front and center.

7. (Agent) Smith

When computer programs go bad, they go really, really bad. Not content to rot in humanity's prison or to face deletion, Smith went apeshit rogue in the sequels and pretty much took over absolutely everything. Unflappable, unstoppable, and pretty much unfuckwithable. Hugo Weaving pretty much chewed the scenery like a mofo as Smith got megalomaniacal, and it was awesome.

8. Catwoman

Let's forget, for the moment, Halle Berry's "Catwoman" from 2004, which was one of the worst movies ever made. No no, give me Michelle Pfeiffer, a skin-tight black leather cat suit, and a whip. Me-fucking-ow! Certainly not among the ranks of supervillain, but definitely a serious baddie. Not only did she whip the Dark Knight's ass on a regular basis, she also had his alter-ego by the short hairs. Talk about cracking the whip!

9. Heffalump

If ever a more ferocious beast graced stage, screen or page, let it speak now or shut its face. You like honey? So does the Heffalump, and it will not think twice about stealing your honey pot, spitting on your face, and humping your sister, Heffalump-style. And she better hope he's not accompanied by a Woozle...

10. The Ring/Sauron

Okay, so the Dark Lord was pretty much reduced to a flaming dismembered eyeball by the time the War of the Ring began, but he pulled some serious weight in Middle Earth for awhile. And how about the One Ring itself? Able to drive people power-crazy just by looking upon it? The Ring's got serious evil game, let's not kid ourselves.


Anyone I've left off?