As far as satisfying moments go, there just isn't one quite like when you do something you know is stupid and it turns out beautifully. I'm talking about when you make a plan, realize that its a really terrible idea that could go wrong in hundreds of ways, then implement it nonetheless. It's kind of a "Wow...for some reason, this isn't going nearly as bad as I expected it to. I am awesome!" type of feeling.
Today I had one of those moments. I was cleaning out my old apartment, transporting the few things I have worth saving to a storage shed, when I came up against the futon. The decision had been made to keep the futon and put it in the office/guest bedroom of our new apartment. The problem for me was a) taking the frame apart, as I'm not exactly a handy man, or particulary handy, and b) transporting it to the storage shed with my 2001 Ford Escort. At my apartment I have one (1) screwdriver with several different attachments. I have zero (0) wrenches. Beyond that, I have a futon machete, if worse comes to worse. There are other tools at my disposal as well, as (oddly enough) my girl owns a pretty tricked out tool set. She's even got saws and shit. She doesn't really use them much, but still, it's kinda hot.
Anyway, I initially planned to take the futon apart, and hope the pieces (some approximately 6 feet long) would fit inside my little car. I don't know anyone within 90 miles of here who owns a pickup truck or van that could lend assistance, so that's out. So I look at the futon's frame, think about how I put it together in the first place, get frustrated and impatient because it didn't disassemble itself under the heat of my angry glare.
Then a thought occurred to me - maybe I could just drag the whole frame down, still assembled, and stick it to the roof of my car. Monumentally stupid idea. What happens when it slips out of my makeshift ropes and falls off mid-transport, then either a) gets run over by another car and smashed up, or b) gets run over by another car, gets smashed up, and causes an accident that is entirely my fault. Sounds like a winner to me. I found a few pieces of rope and extension cords, and hauled the bitch downstairs. I was able to lift it up and set it on the roof without a problem. I tied it down through the windows, then rolled up the windows to make sure the ropes and cords held tight.
And with that, I set out to the storage shed. Mid way through, it hadn't fallen off yet, and I started to get the feeling that maybe it would actually work. I ultimately arrived at the storage shed without incident and plopped the sucker in the shed, still assembled. Now, maybe I'll still have to disassemble it when we move, but maybe not. Maybe I saved myself a bunch of work through a pretty dumb idea.
I feel pretty good about that.
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3 comments:
First of all, you should have called me--the seXterra was totally up to the task. Secondly, I can't believe you did that. That's so fucking stupid--and awesome.
That reminds me of the time we moved a futon in college but were too lazy to tie it down, so we got my friend to stand on the running boards and hold the thing down with his hands. Awesome.
I happen to think this was a brilliant plan. It wouldn't have fit in the car, so this was really your best option. Plus, I bet it looked awesome going down the road.
Yeah, it was brilliant. But perhaps more brilliant would have been to rent a U-Haul to avoid having to make seven hundred thousand trips between the storage shed and my apartment that day. Turns out not only did I have to haul the futon frame that way, but the futon mattress, and a heavy-ass wooden dresser as well.
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