Damn It Feels Good To Be A Lawyer

This is a time of transition, of graduation, of moving on to bigger and better things. All my law friends are somewhere on this spectrum -- all have graduated, some have jobs, some do not, some are studying for the bar, some are not, some are practicing, and some are not yet. But we've all accomplished a great deal, and I think it's worth taking a moment to celebrate that achievement. We're lawyers now, or close enough. And having experienced a taste of what it's really like, I'd say it has been worth the effort.

So, to celebrate what comes next, I thought I would share a ceremonial song, a rite-of-passage, if you will. To the tune of "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta" by the Geto Boys - you all know how it goes:

Verse 1

Damn it feels good to be a lawyer
Cuz real lawyer-ass niggas never lose
A real lawyer-ass nigga always runs his fuckin mouth
Cuz real lawyer-ass niggas talk smooth
And real lawyers always rock the fly suits
Pimped out like a straight-up gangsta mack
Like a real lawyer I don’t gotta brag much
Though I’ve got a chair made out of money stacks
And everythings cool in the mind of a lawyer
Cuz lawyer-ass niggas think deep
Working 24/7 ‘til our loans paid
Then we’ll only work three days a week

And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, law students livin’ that torture
When you finally get admitted it be worth the fuckin’ wait
Damn it feels good to be a lawyer

Verse 2

Damn it feels good to be a lawyer
Getting clients, charging up the massive bills
I used to spend my days in a classroom
But now I’m in the courtroom makin deals
Damn it feels good to be a lawyer
I mean one that everybody know
Ridin around town with my rimz not spinnin
Hittin corners in my Ford Escort
Now real-ass lawyers come in all shapes and colors
Workin’ business law, real estate, and crim
Litigators, public interest, I-to-tha-P
Livin’ lavish ‘cause our pockets never slim

Now all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, 1Ls who wish you’d never entered
Those three years of bullshit will pass by quick
And then damn it feels good to be a lawyer

Verse 3

Damn it feels good to be a lawyer
A real lawyer-ass nigga gets respect
You can call my secretary, set up an appointment
Cuz ain’t nobody that speaks to me direct
And we never have to worry bout the little things
Cuz a real lawyer makes his own rules
We just hire peeps to do our shit for us
And then we never have to tie our own shoes
And the laws of the world don’t apply to us
Because a real-ass lawyer’s above the law
Drive a hundred miles an hour, dead hookers on the roof
Then chase a cop away with a chain saw
And that’s just another day in the life of a lawyer
Cuz real lawyer-ass niggas got it made
And real lawyers never got to worry bout cash
Cuz real lawyer niggas always get paid

Now when you see me you had better get the name right
I’m the motherfuckin court room destroyer
And now I got the world swingin from my nuts
Damn it feels good to be a lawyer.