Friday, December 28, 2007

It's Official

To quote Flight of the Conchords, (in falsetto, singing) "It's business....it's business time!"

The legal supergroup MZRM's two greatest attorneys who still live in Madison will now be joining forces to create a partnership. Or an LLC. Or...one of those things. An L.L.Something. Just like L.L. Cool J. It'll be like Mama Said Knock You Out, At law.

So I don't know much about business. Fuck you.

Anyway, I've got a solid foundation for a client base, and Mr. Ismael is starting his as well. I've got money saved away that I forgot about, thus enabling me to not go broke immediately.

There's a lot to do, obviously. Finding office space. Finding office furniture. Developing a business plan. Developing a secret handshake. And most importantly, coming up with a name.

Community Justice Commandoes at Law, anyone?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Well I'll Be Damned

I didn't intend this to be a full movie review, but what the hell...

Evan Almighty

To my complete surprise, this movie didn't completely suck. Yeah, I know. It cost like $50,000 billion dollars to make, which is outrageous for a 90 minute comedy. I know, it's got Steve Carrell essentially playing Noah. And yeah, there's a flood. And Wanda Sykes. Re-fucking-diculous, I know.

Still, some of it was pretty good. For one thing, a movie that Steve Carrell signs off on can't be all bad. Logically, some of the writing had to be pretty funny, and.....it was. There were a few good jokes here and there. Also, the sheer absurdity of some the plot made it generally pretty amusing. And, I'll admit, it had some pretty cute moments, and a life-affirming story.

Granted, some of it was just lame. I'm kinda getting sick of the pro-environment plots coming out of some of today's comedies, and this was no exception. Not that I'm anti-environment, but a comedy with a pro-environment agenda bothers me along the lines of Shoot Em Up with an anti-gun policy. No thanks.

Also, there was an extended bit of slapstick humor during the ark-building scenes, where Steve Carrell injured himself in every way known to man, often repeating the same stupid mistake over and over, and often falling over for no apparent reason. I don't mind slapstick, but at least do it intelligently, and with a purpose.

All in all, I kinda liked the movie. Somebody got it for me for Christmas (not on my list), but I enjoyed it. So there.

My score: C+/B-
Recommendation: If you can step outside of your jaded, cynical selves and just try to enjoy it, it's not that bad. If you can't...well, I understand.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Road Rage

I'm not what one might call "tolerant" or "remotely patient" when driving. Though I have mellowed slightly in my old age (seriously, I have), I still feel the urge to scream at people a lot of the time. For example, people who slow down to look at car accidents. If you're slowing down because everyone ahead of you slowed down and you don't want to hit them, fine. But if you're slowing down to satisfy your own curiousity, fuck you.

Same with people who are already going the speed limit, then slow down when they see a cop. What the fuck are you afraid of, exactly? The police might start cracking down on people who drive less than five miles below the legal limit? Assholes.

Then today, when driving home on the Beltline, I encountered a vehicle driving 47 mph in the passing lane. All alone. No cars ahead of him, plenty of room to the side. I pulled pretty close behind him, and he kept puttering right along.

As far as I'm concerned, you want to drive slow, fine. But not in the far left lane. They don't call it the "passing lane" because of all the other drivers passing the people who drive in it. In some states, you're not even allowed to drive in the left lane for a certain distance when there are no other cars around. Where I come from, you can get shot for less.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Comic Books: Not Just For Dorks Anymore...Or I Have Become A Dork

I used to read comic books, way back in the day. If I had to guess, I'd say I was 7-8 years old. My older brother was the one who really liked them; I gave them a shot, and found they weren't too bad. If I remember correctly, I primarily read Batman comics; I doubt I read anything else. I never got too caught up in comics, though, because any interest I had was soon supplanted by my obsession for TV and movies. To me, they seemed infinitely more satisfying, and easier to follow. And they still do.

However, this year I've found myself going to the comic book stores more and more. Mainly because Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly - possibly my three favorite fictional stories ever - has now expanded these universes into the comic book medium. Now, to be honest, there have already been Buffy and Angel comics floating around, and I never paid them any mind. Mostly because Joss himself wasn't writing them. At this time, the respective shows were still on the air (or in production of the movie, as with the continuation of Firefly). And Joss was involved in other comics, including a series called Fray and his take on the X-Men. But I never looked into those. Just not all that interested.

But then my shows ended. Firefly was taken off the air before I ever watched it; I caught it late on DVD, then saw the movie, which was awesome. Buffy ended the same year as Firefly, and went out in spectacular form. Angel was cancelled the following year, which was a travesty because it left all of the main characters in a precarious position in the final moments. Now, the TV series finale was awesome, and symbollicaly it was an excellent way for the show to go out, which made it less of a cliffhanger and more of an inevitability. However, myself and millions of others wanted to know what happend in that final battle, and got denied the chance. Similarly, although Firefly got made into a sweet-ass movie, it wasn't enough - there were so many stories left to be told, that just wouldn't, unless another movie comes out (which, at this point, doesn't seem all that likely.)

That is, until the comics came along. Not just comics telling side stories, actual canonical continuations written or supervised by Joss Whedon. Firefly came out with a three-issue set called "Those Left Behind" to bridge the gap between the end of the TV show and the start of the movie. Now a new series is set to come out in the spring called "Better Days," which I believe is also set prior to the beginning of the movie. In addition, a new graphic novel that tells the story of Book's past will also come out in the spring.

Joss also decided to continue Buffy in comics form, an official continuation referred to as Buffy Seaon 8, though it's not on television. So far there have been 8 issues, and have been relatively decent. I find that I still greatly prefer television to comics, and Buffy didn't really need to continue beyond its final TV episode, but...still good to see the familiar characters and universe that were so great on TV.

By contrast, I was extremely excited to hear the announcement of Angel: After the Fall, an official continuation of that show, which I felt really needed to continue so Joss could tell the story he intended. This isn't quite Angel Season 6, but something different - most of what was intended for that season is included, but the story is actually supposed to be much more epic in scope now, since there are no budget constraints on special effects, no problems with casting, none of the limitations a real TV show has. Of course, it has limitations specific to comics. The first issue was pretty good; rather than picking up directly where the season ended, it picks up in the near future, where some rather surprising issues with some of the characters have come up. It's still slightly hard to follow, as the writing isn't exactly "Point A, Point B, Point C." The writers (Joss and Brian Lynch) are trying not to reveal too much too early, and that's all well and good, but also leaves some genuine "What the fuck?" moments. All in all, good show, and issue 2 is out today.

So, although it's not perfect, comics have allowed the continuation of stories I love that got axed in television, which has led me into the world of comic book dorkery. It was inevitable, I suppose, but here I am.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Attention Motherfucker: Bring It

An open letter to the person who thought I hit their car, then left a profanity-filled note talking about how I was going to pay for it, which included no contact information or insurance information, and left before I got back:

Prove it.

I didn't hit your car. I had to park close to it because a snowbank had encroached on my spot. My door may have rested against your car when I opened it, but it did not scratch it. In fact, no part of my car scratched your car. You know how I can tell? Because there are no marks on my car whatsoever. If I had scratched up your car, as you claim, there would be some sort of mark on my vehicle. There's not. I've got the pictures to prove it.

You, on the other hand, have nothing. So come and get me, motherfucker.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Most Nad-Mashing, Spine-Crunching Show on Television

I am referring, of course, to Ninja Warrior on the G4 channel, possibly the greatest thing to happen to television since "Dick in a Box." If you've never seen it (you poor bastards), let me break it down for you. Imagine an elaborate obstacle course testing your strength, agility, and endurance. Imagine four separate stages, and each is continually updated and revampted to further test the ability of the challengers. Imagine some absolutely incredible athletes in peak physical condition who become legitimate Ninja Warrior superstars through their repeated successes, who occasionally go nutty and build replica Ninja Warrior practice courses in their backyards for training purposes. Now imagine an assortment of other people from all walks of life who wish to challenge the grueling courses for themselves. Then throw in ridiculously enthusiastic announcer who exclaims every word in an overly-annunciated Japanese accent, and is not afraid to make vaguely inappropriate and often hilarious commentary.

Let me tell you, it's frickin' awesome.

Watching the true Ninja Warriors compete is amazing - the obstacles are ridiculous, and seeing them overcome is pretty sweet. Watching the common folk compete is generally pretty funny, because when someone fails, they plummet to the water in agony. And, for both the warriors and the commoners, there's always a fair amount of absolutely wicked-looking collisions and awkward tumbles. Some are funny, some are heart-breaking, especially when a competitor sinks to the water after nearly completing an obstacle.

G4 shows it like 12 hours a day, so it's hard to miss. I strongly encourage everyone to check it out.