Huh?

I have a Blackberry. However, I have not yet learned all of its little tricks and nuances. This is partially due to my own laziness, and partially in an effort to frustrate Ismael.

At any rate, today I got a little graphic in the upper right corner where the missed calls and voicemails show up. The missed call graphics are like an X, and the voicemails are an envelope. But the graphic I have right now is a smiley face. It says I have one smiley face, with an asterisk. Whatever the hell it is, it doesn't show up in my emails or as a text message. I don't know where the fuck to locate this thing.

Please, somebody, tell me what the hell is going on.

This One's For You, Utah

I'm Barry F'ing Gibb!



Also, here's the new one from Andy Samberg and JT. Not as good as "Dick in a Box," (which they actually admit during the song), but still pretty dec:

Stay of Execution

I watch a lot of television shows, and much of what I watch tends to be quirky, serialized sci fi/fantasy with low ratings and cult status. As a result, most tend to be on the chopping block when the networks have to make their renew or cancel decisions. Shows like Angel, Veronica Mars, and Wonderfalls all got the axe while I was watching; I wasn't part of Firefly when it was on the air, but that was another travesty that happened to a show I now love. There are many other shows I watched when they started that all got cancelled, so many I can't even remember their names. Spring is nice, but it is also where my shows go to die.

This year appeared headed for a fate worse than most. The number of shows I watch regularly increased significantly this year, even after I gave up on Heroes for good. Some shows were pretty popular and were guaranteed renewals (Lost, The Office, and to a lesser extent, 30 Rock), so I knew about those in advance. I just started watching Supernatural, and that got an early renewal notice as well. Good news on those fronts.

But there are several others I feared for dead: Dollhouse, Joss Whedon's struggling but promising new show on FOX, Castle, the new ABC mystery/crime show starring Nathan Fillion (Mal) which I really really enjoyed, Reaper, the CW's fairly entertaining Kevin Smith-style comedy/fantasy show, and Chuck, NBC's wildly entertaining spy comedy show. The news was grim for most, made all the more frustrating by the fact that Heroes got an early renewal notice. No accounting for horrible, horrible taste, I guess.

But here we are at the zero hour, and the news is incredibly good.

Chuck got renewed!

Castle got renewed!

Even Dollhouse got renewed!

Still waiting for word on Reaper. I had heard this was dead in the water for a long time, but now there may even be hope on that front.

Quite a relief...

The Great Debate

Thanks to PH for forwarding this. Witness the greatest theological debate of our times, as played out on signs at two opposing churches:

http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/2009/05/05/just-because-21/

Why Did the Turtle Cross the Road? UPDATED

Word of advice - don't believe everything you read. Contrary to Ismael's tweeting earlier in the day, I did not kill a turtle. I ran over a turtle, but I didn't kill it. This was the scene - We were on our way into Portage, driving down Highway 33. I saw what looked like a rock in the road. It was big, kinda grayish. But I thought I could drive over it without a problem. So I did. Except, right when I got within a foot of the thing, I learned it was a turtle. A frickin' giant-ass turtle at that. A moment later, I was over it. The car definitely scraped a long the turtle. But it wasn't dead. In fact, I looked in the rearview, and noticed that the turtle was still walking around afterward. It was probably shitting itself, certainly. But not dead.

But now we have an answer to an age-old question:

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get the fuck out of Portage. For realz.

UPDATE: 2 hours later, on the drive back, we saw the turtle. It was now clearly dead. Lying on its back on the side of the road, guts ripped out. I swear, I didn't do it.

The Whirlwind

Ever have that feeling where you've suddenly stepped into some alternate reality, where everything that happens is surreal and awesome? We had one of those moments about an hour ago. PH and I had just left the mall, where we had purchased some clothing, a new suit, and a couple of frothy beverages. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the air was warm and pleasant. We had walked there, and we started walking back. We walked along the parking lot behind JC Penneys, just passing the Chilis, and contemplating how to spend the rest of the beautiful day.

Just then, the wind picked up. Soon it became difficult to walk or speak. Debris battered us like stinging hail. For a moment, I seriously considered trying to duck and cover, it was so ridiculous. But we kept going, past the area behind the Boston Store where the cars were parked, into the barren wasteland of a parking lot As we marveled at the force of the wind, a shopping cart appeared across the lot, moving of its own accord. It raced toward us as though by jet propulsion. It had apparently escaped the Cub Foods area, and was on a mission to destroy. First it was just bizarre, then it was a little scary, as it was seriously moving toward us. Then its trajectory carried it past us, and it was hilarious. But then we realized it was heading for the rows of parked cars, and it had a serious head of steam going.

Making a snap decision, I dropped my new suit bag on the ground and chased after the cart. I only had sandles on, making it a little difficult to run, but I sprinted after it and began gaining ground. But the cart was still about fifty feet ahead, with about fifty feet before it would smash into the side of a car. I put the burners on and snagged that sucker about fifteen feet short of hitting the car.

After taking a moment to process, I walked the car back towards PH, who by now was laughing gregariously at the absurdity of it all. I couldn't help but join her. Strangely, the wind had all but disappeared by then. And although it reared its head again later during the walk back, it remained pretty still as we marched the intrepid shopping cart back to the Cub cart corrals.

Now we're just left with questions. Mainly, WTF? Also, was what I did heroic? Well, it depends on what you...yes, of course it was. In fact, it was a lot like Xander Cage chasing down Ahab and plunging it into the river, except I didn't deploy my harpoon. It was one of those defining moments that comes along once in a decade or so, and you have to decide for yourself whether to let the magically speeding shopping cart go and put a sizeable dent in someone's car, or whether you have to chase it down and corral that motherfucker. I chose the latter.

Someday, you may have to choose for yourself.