That's what my nurse just told me - there is nothing medically wrong with me. I had a CT scan last week, it came back negative. I also had some blood work, all negative. I had a scope of my stomach about three weeks ago, nothing there. Test after test for seven years, nothing to report. This is all well and good, but I received this news at 3:30 pm, at which time I was (and still am) suffering from an intense burning feeling in my abdomen, roughly 2 1/2 hours after I finished my lunch. So imagine the comfort I take from being told there is nothing wrong with me, medically speaking.
Fuck you, tapeworm.
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I meant to ask all weekend but didn't. Do the doctors have any way to make you feel better? Or is their advice just "well, you're fucked"?
I didn't get to sit down with the doctor because he was only available while I was at work, and now I'm not in Oshkosh anymore. Now, not to knock my doctor, because he is very good and caring and seems to know what he's talking about, but this is a synopsis of what the conversation would have been.
"Well, the CT scan didn't find any problems. So, once again, I'm baffled. Your symptoms seem to suggest X, but your condition hasn't responded to any treatment for X, or anything else for that matter. So yeah...have fun with that."
I extend my condolences on the burning. Maybe the doctor should speak to the tapeworm next time, give a stern warning or something.
Maybe this is a sign of some impending super power? I mean - look at the Hulk. Everytime he gets angry, he gets super-strong. So maybe everytime you eat too much, you'll develop some kind of awesome ability?
If this impending power involves shooting fire and/or spikes out of my mouth, then I'm down.
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