Tool Academy

I have never been a fan of reality television. Primarily because it just exposes the lowest common denominator of humanity. Generally just hearing the premise of the shows is enough to make me want to hurl. Also, I can't stand these shows because networks have chosen to inundate the airwaves with this schlock over scripted programs because reality shows are cheaper and easier to make. As a result, many quality television shows get axed in favor of fucking drivel. Plus, as I'm sure you all know, I have a general aversion to reality.

So as a general rule, I don't watch reality tv. Ever. But today I had to break that rule. VH1 has a new show called "Tool Academy," bringing together some of the douchiest douchebags this side of, well, the earth. Cockbags with handles like "Matsuflex" and "Mega" preen and pose and pontificate on their awesomeness, believing they are competing in a contest called "Mr. Awesome." Turns out they are being watched by their long-suffering girlfriends in a contest to see if any of them can stop being tools. Each week, the biggest remaining toolkit gets the boot. It's actually kind of...well, terrible. But as far as guilty pleasures go, it was fun to watch, and made me feel pretty good about myself.