Listen, pollsters, don't think for a second you're going to prevent me from exercising my rights as a cold-blooded American citizen to vote the losing side of a bunch of every referendum. I've got a driver's license, I've got a social security card, I've got an A8 China card. Not enough? Fine. You want proof of residence? No, I don't have any junk mail on me, but I do have this lovely machete with the blood of a transient who used to frequent my building. No good? Hmm.... you want a friend from my block who can verify their own residence to vouch for me? Unlikely, seeing as how my block is packed to the brim with fuckin' dirty-ass hippies, almost-homeless people, and assholes who scratch asinine shit on my elevator doors. And no way am I standing in a line for 30 minutes to find out I need to go grab a piece of mail, come back and stand in line for another 30 minutes, just to cast the decidedly unimportant vote. So thanks, random scruffy hippie number 1, for vouching for me and signing my sheet. You're a true American hero. Now take a shower and get a real job.
Anybody know if the referendum on requiring city officials to conduct a study before they put some sort of wiring in some place or another? I had money riding on that bitch.
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