So the strap on my computer case broke today. This makes five computer cases I've had, and on each one, either the clip holding the strap broke, or the clip physically ripped out of the lining of the case, making it impossible to use the strap. At this rate, I go through computer cases almost as fast as your mom goes through horsecock.
(Normally I would point out how badly I just burned your mom right now, but from what I hear, she's already burning.)
Apparently computer cases aren't meant to hold anything in addition to the laptop. Which is a problem for me, because I need it to hold several files, random papers, additional notebooks, some Rolos, my keys and wallet, and other things from time to time. Now, it may be my fault for putting all of this stuff in the case, but if I don't, where else will I put it? I need these things with me. I'm not going to carry a backpack in addition to my computer case. I've tried that, and its just awkward. As far as I'm concerned, I shouldn't have to haul multiple bags around when one should suffice.
I guess I'll just go back to carrying my laptop in my backpack, if I can clear some room. That, or I'll become part of the problem. I'll get a wheeliebag. No problems with straps breaking off there. I could even get like two or three bowling balls and drag them suckers around, smashing into people's legs, rolling over people's feet, and making sure to disrupt the flow of all pedestrian traffic in my wake.
Of course, I'd have to keep my guard up, because wheeliebags are a gateway drug to greater assholery. First wheeliebags, then I start spoiling the ends of movies, then I stop shaving and start ordering people not to eat meat, and next thing you know its pink shirts all over the place.
Ah yes. The path to the dark side takes one step at a time.
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3 comments:
Dude, don't forget that once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Also, we should make a video of you lugging ridiculous things in your wheelie bag and generally being as obnoxious as possible with it.
On a serious note, you should look into generally spending a little more money on your bags. I think I was there when you bought your last one, and I think you bought the cheapest one. I would recommend against doing that. I would also recommend Swiss Army products--my current bag is two years old and it's still as good as new. Check it out.
The wheeliebag symbolizes all that is wrong with your world today. Things like hunger, genocide, terrorism, and walruses(i) don't even play in the same league as the douched-out wheeliebag.
I find that a good solution is slavery. That way, someone else can carry your books. Just a suggestion though, you don't have to follow it.
Let's forget that any of this was ever suggested. Vice, just find a Jansport bag that works with a lifetime guarantee. You'll still break it, I'm sure, but the replacements will be free--free of wheelie bags and cost.
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