Parting Shots

Tomorrow. Miami. It's on.

Just to show you the proportions of on-ness it has reached, the following is an actual conversation I recently had with the spokesman for the United Organization of Unified Douchebags, who visited the MZRM offices this morning:

UOUD Spokesman Douchebag:
Uh, listen. We understand that your firm is planning a little trip over the next week, but several problems have arisen that will need your immediate attention, and...well look, I just came down here to tell you... Ih it's not on.

VICE:
Oh, it's on!

UOUD Spokesman Douchebag:
Nonono, it's not on.

VICE:
Whoo, it's on all right!

UOUD Spokesman Douchebag:
It isn't on. Nothing's on. It's off.

VICE:
[insistent] It's on!

UOUD Spokesman Douchebag:
I'm going to have to ask you guys to be here on Saturday. I just came by to let you know so you can... put a stop to all this. Good bye. [turns around and walks away]

VICE:
Hold on a second, clamhead! [catches him and blocks his way] You think you can just roll in here and tell us it's not on when it very clearly is on?!

At which point, I gave him a vicious roundhouse to the face, then wailed on my guitar, and swallowed a knife to show how seriously on it is.

See ya when I see ya.