M*therf*ckin' Snakes On An X-Men

There are some events that change a man forever. I'm not sure X-Men III - The Final Stand was one of them. But I know for damn sure going to see it at the midnight showing with the diehards was a memorable experience in many ways.

First, a disclaimer - - I don't know if I will review X-Men III. If I do, I will at least wait a few days, for the sake of others who will see it. I will say that I thought it was pretty good overall, especially story and action-wise. Some of the action was spectacular, and some of the themes were particularly thought-provoking. However, the character development was spotty at best, and left the movie with a sour aftertaste. The first two X-Men built up a solid core of characters, and a lot of them were largely absent from this film for various reasons. So in the end, when the X-Men go to take on Magneto's army (not really spoiling anything here), out of the six (and later seven) characters who fight, only three of them had any significant role in the previous two films. In my opinion, they tried to make the movie too big, threw in too many characters, and diluted the core character development to the point where the emotional conflicts weren't all that emotional.

However, being at the movie was another story. Now, I'm a major movie/television buff, especially anything action/superhero/sci-fi related. But I learned quite clearly through Andy's quiz on upper-level dorkitude that I just don't have the chops. Not even close.

And then there was last night. We sat at the back of the theater, which was absolutely filled to capacity with the dorkiest guys I have ever had the extreme discomfort of being around. Now, I mean no offense to dorks, none whatsoever. I love dorks, many of my best friends are dorks, and many of them are some of the coolest people I will ever meet. I often love the same topics as dorks, and therefore sympathize greathly with the culture of dorkery. But this was a whole new level of dorkitude I could scarcely comprehend even existed. From RPGs to computer software to gaming systems to cheat codes to calculus, and back again. Everyone had vocal and passionate advocacy for one thing or another, and everyone else was equally as vocal and passionate as to why the first thing was inferior to the second. Most of the time I sat in silence, pretending that I was somewhere else, somewhere pleasant where things made sense again. I mean, I wasn't embarassed to be there, I was just....strangely uncomfortable.

But when the Dork High Commander on Andy's right challenged him to a calculus competition, I had to draw the line. After my outburst, the conversation shifted back toward sci fi movies, which was more familiar territory. But for a few moments, shit was getting critical.

And then the previews started, and all was right with the world. Because I was about to witness perhaps the greatest trailer I have ever seen in my life. That's right - - Snakes on a Plane. It was so unexpected too. It was like this summer you'll see superheroes and unbreakable codes and blockbuster action, but not one of those movies will have this: m*therf*ckin' snakes on a plane. Perhaps this is why I enjoyed the movie more than my colleague. My mind was already completely blown beforehand, and everything else was just gravy.

One thing's for certain: I'm a believer. When I conducted my summer movie preview, I was skeptical about Snakes on a Plane. As much as it shames me to admit, the brilliance of the concept went right over me. But then again, most things do. But now, with the help of my friends, I have converted. And I can proudly affirm the following: We got m*therf*ckin' snakes on this plane!